Do you ever feel anxious when your partner doesn’t respond right away? Do you find yourself craving their attention so much that when they focus on something — or someone — else, it stings like rejection? Do you sometimes wish you could be their entire world ? If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. And more importantly — you're not broken. These intense emotional needs often have deep roots in our childhoods, especially in the relationships we formed with our caregivers. What may feel like “neediness” or “jealousy” today might actually be the echo of a younger version of you who had to fight to be seen, heard, and loved. In this article, we’ll explore the psychological roots of this dynamic, understand how our early experiences shape adult relationships, and — most importantly — learn what we can do to begin healing and creating healthier connections. The Theory: Why Your Inner Child May Still Be Fighting for Love 1. The Attachment Blueprint Psychologist John Bowlby, founder of Attachment Theory , taught us something powerful: the way we bond with our caregivers in childhood lays the foundation for how we love, trust, and relate to others as adults. When a parent is emotionally distant, inconsistent, or preoccupied (with work, another sibling, or their own issues), a child learns a painful but logical lesson: "To get love, I have to fight  for it." This survival strategy might include trying to be perfect, becoming overly helpful or obedient, or constantly seeking validation. While adaptive in childhood, these same patterns can turn into relational struggles later on. 2. Sibling Rivalry, Emotional Competition, and the “Spotlight” Complex For many of us, childhood meant competing for a parent’s attention — with a sibling, a phone, or even a parent’s sadness or stress. The message absorbed wasn’t always clear, but it was powerful: “I’m not the priority — and that hurts.”So we fought — quietly or loudly — to be seen. Fast-forward to adulthood: even the smallest moment where your partner is mentally elsewhere can unconsciously trigger those old wounds. You might feel invisible, rejected, or replaced — not because your partner is unloving, but because your nervous system remembers what it felt like to be left out in the cold. 3. The Adult Consequences of Childhood Invisibility If your childhood taught you that love must be earned , you might now struggle with: Needing constant reassurance in relationships Feeling anxious or rejected when your partner isn’t fully present Becoming jealous of anything (or anyone) that takes their attention Feeling unsafe when not the emotional “center” of your partner’s life Reacting with anger, guilt, or withdrawal when your needs feel unmet These reactions aren’t character flaws. They’re emotional defense mechanisms. But recognizing where they come from is the first step toward healing. A Real-Life Example: Anna’s Story Anna, 32 , reached out to Soul Space because of recurring conflicts in her relationship. Her partner — calm, thoughtful, and focused — works in tech and often gets absorbed in long work sessions. When he doesn’t respond to her texts within a couple of hours, Anna spirals. “I immediately think something’s wrong. That he doesn’t love me anymore. I try not to show it, but I get moody. Then I explode, feel guilty, and apologize. I just want to matter most to him.” Through therapeutic reflection, Anna realized that as a child, she constantly competed with her younger brother for her mother’s attention. Her father was emotionally detached. To get noticed, Anna became “the good girl” — the overachiever, the helper. But the emotional validation she needed never truly came. Now, in her relationship, those old patterns are alive again. When her partner is emotionally unavailable — even briefly — it activates a deep, unconscious belief: “If I’m not everything to you, I’m nothing.” With time, compassion, and guided self-reflection, Anna began separating past from present and building a more secure relationship — with both her partner and herself. So What Can You Do? Self-Help Steps for Emotional Rebalancing If you recognize yourself in Anna’s story, here are practical steps to help you build inner stability and more secure relationships: 1. Honor Your Feelings, Don’t Judge Them The need to feel loved and prioritized is valid . Your feelings are not “too much.” They are signals from younger parts of you still waiting to be seen. 2. Ask: “Is This Now — Or Then?” When strong emotions arise, pause and ask: “Am I reacting to my partner — or to something from my past?”Write down three facts that anchor you in the present (e.g., “My partner is usually caring,” “He’s just working,” “We had a good talk yesterday”). 3. Use Grounding Techniques to Soothe Activation When the panic rises, try this breathing technique: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 Exhale slowly for 6Repeat 3–5 cycles to calm the nervous system. 4. Create a Loving Inner Adult Imagine a wise, kind adult version of yourself speaking to your younger self.Say: “You are loved. You are important. You are safe — even when someone else is busy.” Practice this inner parenting regularly. 5. Nourish Your Own Emotional World Instead of waiting for your partner to fill all emotional gaps, invest in activities that bring you  joy and presence:Art. Nature. Movement. Friendships. Books. Music.When you feel emotionally full, the urgency of needing another to “complete” you fades. Recommended Soul Space Program “ Healing Childhood Trauma: a Journey to Better Mental Health ” This guided online program is designed for anyone who feels anxious in relationships, struggles with emotional dependency, or feels stuck in fear of abandonment. Course Highlights: ✨ Understand how childhood trauma impacts adulthood ✨ Learn coping strategies for emotional triggers ✨ Heal from psychological trauma and family trauma ✨ Develop emotional resilience and self-compassion ✨ Build healthier relationships and emotional well-being This journey isn’t about becoming “less emotional.” It’s about becoming emotionally safe  — first for yourself, then in your relationships. From Emotional Survival to Safe Connection The longing to be the center of someone’s world doesn’t make you needy or broken — it makes you human. But when that longing turns into fear, control, or pain, it’s often a sign that an inner child is still waiting to be seen. By gently bringing awareness to these patterns, you give yourself the chance to grow beyond survival mode. With compassion, clarity, and consistent self-support, you can create relationships that feel safe, mutual, and deeply nourishing — without the need to fight for love. References Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development . Basic Books. Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love . Little, Brown Spark. Siegel, D., & Hartzell, M. (2003). Parenting from the Inside Out . TarcherPerigee. Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love . TarcherPerigee. Schore, A. N. (2003). Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self . W. W. Norton & Company. Soul Space Editorial Team. (2024). Internal Working Models and Self-Support in Close Relationships . Internal Publication.

Self-trust is the foundation of confidence, resilience, and emotional well-being. It enables us to make decisions with clarity, navigate challenges with resilience, and maintain a sense of inner security. However, many people struggle with self-trust due to past experiences, self-doubt, or external influences that have led them to question their own judgment. The good news is that the brain is highly adaptable, and it is possible to rewire it for self-trust through intentional practices. In this article, we will explore what self-trust is, why it matters, and practical strategies for building self-trust using neuroscience-backed techniques. What Is Self-Trust? Self-trust is the ability to rely on oneself—to believe in one's own thoughts, feelings, and decisions without excessive doubt or dependence on external validation. It is the deep confidence that you can handle life’s challenges and make choices that align with your values and needs. When self-trust is strong, you: Feel confident in your decisions. Set healthy boundaries. Navigate uncertainty with resilience. Trust your emotions and instincts. Maintain inner stability despite external pressures. Conversely, when self-trust is weak, you may: Second-guess your choices. Struggle with perfectionism or fear of failure. Seek constant reassurance from others. Feel disconnected from your emotions. Have difficulty asserting yourself. The Neuroscience of Self-Trust The brain is constantly forming and reinforcing neural pathways based on repeated experiences and thought patterns. When we doubt ourselves frequently, our brain strengthens those neural connections, making self-doubt a default response. However, through neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself—we can consciously develop new patterns that support self-trust. Key brain regions involved in self-trust include: The Prefrontal Cortex:  Responsible for rational thinking, decision-making, and self-reflection. Strengthening this area through mindfulness and cognitive exercises enhances self-trust. The Amygdala:  The brain’s emotional center, which can trigger fear and self-doubt. Learning to regulate emotions helps build self-trust. The Hippocampus:  Involved in memory and learning, it plays a role in how past experiences influence self-perception. Rewriting negative self-beliefs strengthens self-trust. How to Build Self-Trust Rewiring the brain for self-trust requires consistent practice. Below are key strategies to build self-trust effectively: 1. Acknowledge and Challenge Self-Doubt Start by identifying self-doubt when it arises. Pay attention to negative thoughts that undermine your confidence and question their validity. Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or fear? Have I successfully handled similar situations before? What would I tell a friend facing the same doubt? By reframing self-doubt into more empowering thoughts, you weaken old neural pathways of insecurity and create new ones that support self-trust. 2. Make and Keep Small Promises to Yourself Self-trust grows when you prove to yourself that you are reliable. Start with small, manageable commitments, such as: Drinking a glass of water in the morning. Practicing five minutes of deep breathing daily. Setting and maintaining a personal boundary. Each time you follow through, your brain registers that you are trustworthy, reinforcing self-trust over time. 3. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Mindfulness helps you stay present and reduces the overthinking that fuels self-doubt. Try: Daily meditation or mindful breathing. Journaling your thoughts without judgment. Noticing and accepting emotions without suppressing them. Self-compassion also plays a critical role in self-trust. Instead of harsh self-criticism, practice self-kindness by treating yourself as you would a close friend. 4. Listen to Your Inner Voice Often, self-trust is weakened when we ignore our instincts in favor of external opinions. Reconnect with your inner guidance by: Taking moments of silence to check in with yourself. Trusting your initial feelings in decision-making. Reflecting on past situations where following your intuition led to positive outcomes. The more you listen to and act on your own wisdom, the stronger your self-trust becomes. 5. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities Fear of failure can erode self-trust. Instead of viewing mistakes as evidence of incompetence, reframe them as opportunities for growth. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Focus on what you can learn from setbacks. Avoid catastrophizing by reminding yourself that one mistake does not define you. By shifting your mindset, you build resilience and reinforce trust in your ability to handle challenges. 6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People The people around us influence our self-perception. Build self-trust by surrounding yourself with individuals who: Encourage and validate your decisions. Support your growth and independence. Do not impose their doubts and fears onto you. Engaging with positive relationships helps reinforce your own self-trust. Case Study: Learning to Trust Again Emma, a 35-year-old graphic designer, struggled with self-trust after years of relying on others for validation. She constantly second-guessed her creative choices and hesitated to take on leadership roles, fearing failure. Through therapy and self-reflection, Emma began implementing small changes. She started making and keeping promises to herself, practiced self-compassion, and gradually took on projects that challenged her comfort zone. Over time, she noticed a shift—her self-trust grew, and she made decisions with greater confidence. Today, Emma leads her own design firm, proving that self-trust can be rebuilt with consistent effort. Building self-trust is a journey that requires patience, consistency, and self-compassion. By acknowledging self-doubt, honoring small commitments, practicing mindfulness, trusting intuition, embracing mistakes, and fostering supportive relationships, you can rewire your brain to develop deep and lasting self-trust.When you trust yourself, you step into your power, navigate life with confidence, and cultivate a sense of inner peace that no external circumstance can shake. References Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection.  Hazelden Publishing. Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.  Random House. Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.  HarperCollins. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.  Guilford Press.

In today’s fast-paced world, productivity is often equated with success. The ability to stay busy, meet deadlines, and constantly achieve more is highly valued. However, when productivity turns into an obsession, it becomes toxic. Toxic productivity refers to an unhealthy compulsion to always be doing something, often at the expense of mental and physical well-being. It is a modern phenomenon driven by societal pressures, technology, and the glorification of hustle culture. In this article, we will explore the causes of toxic productivity, its impact on modern life, and ways to break free from its grip. Understanding Toxic Productivity Toxic productivity is the compulsion to be productive at all times, leading individuals to feel guilty or anxious when they are not working. Unlike healthy productivity, which balances efficiency with well-being, toxic productivity prioritizes constant output over rest and recovery. Key characteristics include: Feeling guilty for taking breaks or resting. Equating self-worth with productivity and accomplishments. Overworking to the point of exhaustion. Ignoring physical and emotional needs to maintain a sense of busyness. Having difficulty setting boundaries between work and personal life. Causes of Toxic Productivity Several factors contribute to toxic productivity in modern society: 1. Hustle Culture Hustle culture glorifies working long hours and constantly striving for more. Social media often portrays successful individuals as those who sacrifice sleep and personal time to achieve their goals. This creates unrealistic expectations and pressures people to work excessively. 2. Technological Advancements With the rise of smartphones, remote work, and digital communication, the line between work and personal life has become blurred. Employees feel pressured to be available 24/7, making it harder to disconnect and unwind. 3. Fear of Falling Behind The competitive nature of modern workplaces and industries fosters a fear of being left behind. This pressure pushes individuals to overwork, believing that taking breaks will hinder their success. 4. Perfectionism and High Expectations Many people struggle with perfectionism, feeling that their work must always be flawless. This leads to overworking and an inability to feel satisfied with accomplishments, fueling toxic productivity. Impact on Modern Life and Well-Being Toxic productivity has significant consequences on overall quality of life. Some of the major impacts include: 1. Mental Health Decline Constantly working without rest can lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout. The pressure to always be productive increases stress levels and negatively affects emotional well-being. 2. Physical Health Issues Neglecting rest and self-care leads to sleep deprivation, fatigue, and weakened immune function. Chronic stress from overworking can also contribute to heart disease and other serious health conditions. 3. Strained Relationships Overworking often results in neglecting personal relationships. Prioritizing work over family, friendships, and social activities can lead to loneliness and isolation. 4. Decreased Creativity and Innovation Productivity obsession stifles creativity. Constant busyness prevents the brain from engaging in deep thinking, problem-solving, and innovative ideas. 5. Reduced Job Satisfaction When work becomes overwhelming, individuals may lose passion for their careers. Toxic productivity can lead to burnout, disengagement, and even job dissatisfaction. Case Study: A Personal Experience with Toxic Productivity John, a 32-year-old marketing manager, always prided himself on his strong work ethic. He routinely worked late into the night, skipped meals, and ignored personal time to meet deadlines. Over time, John began to feel constantly exhausted, and his anxiety levels skyrocketed. His relationships suffered as he frequently canceled plans with friends and family to complete more work. Eventually, his performance at work declined, and he felt increasingly disengaged. After suffering a stress-induced health scare, John sought help from a therapist, who helped him recognize the toxic patterns in his life. Through mindfulness practices, boundary-setting, and redefining his idea of success, John gradually restored balance to his life, improving both his well-being and professional satisfaction. How to Overcome Toxic Productivity Breaking free from toxic productivity requires intentional changes in mindset and habits. Here are some practical steps to regain balance: 1. Redefine Success Shift focus from constant output to overall well-being. Recognize that success includes personal fulfillment, relationships, and mental health, not just work achievements. 2. Set Boundaries Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Set specific work hours, take regular breaks, and avoid responding to work emails outside of designated times. 3. Prioritize Rest and Recovery Rest is not a waste of time—it is essential for sustained productivity and well-being. Schedule downtime, engage in hobbies, and practice mindfulness to recharge. 4. Challenge the Guilt of Resting Recognize that taking breaks improves efficiency and performance. Allow yourself guilt-free time off without feeling the need to justify it. 5. Adopt a Healthy Productivity Mindset Focus on quality over quantity. Instead of constantly being busy, prioritize meaningful tasks that align with personal and professional goals. 6. Seek Support Talk to a mentor, therapist, or trusted friend about productivity-related stress. Seeking support can provide valuable insights and encouragement in breaking free from toxic habits. Toxic productivity is a widespread issue in modern society, driven by external pressures and internal expectations. While productivity is important, it should not come at the cost of well-being. By recognizing the signs of toxic productivity and making conscious efforts to cultivate balance, individuals can lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. Ultimately, true success lies not in constant busyness, but in a harmonious integration of work, rest, and personal growth. References Newport, C. (2016). Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World . Grand Central Publishing. Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection . Hazelden Publishing. Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself . HarperCollins. Duhigg, C. (2012). The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business . Random House. Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being . Free Press.

Facing a mental health crisis? Start our proven mental health course now and take control of your well-being today. Self care only | SOUL SPACE Home Facing a mental health crisis? Start our proven mental health course now and take control of your well-being today! ⁠How to improve my mental health? Online Programs Articles Express CheckUp ...a sanctuary for total wellbeing Welcome To Soul Space Olga Babira 00:00 / 01:16 Our Marketplace Online Courses Flexibility : anytime&anywhere Comprehensive Content Expert Guidance Personal Growth Continuous Improvement Let's start! PSY Tests Interactive Learning Expert Facilitators Diverse Topics Community Support Continuous Expansion Let's start! Articles Expert Insights Practical Advice Diverse Topics Accessible Anytime Continuous Growth Let's start! Marketplace Sarah, 35 | United States "I recently enrolled in the online program offered by Soul Space, and I must say it exceeded my expectations. The program was well-structured and easy to follow, and I appreciated the variety of topics covered. The interactive exercises were particularly helpful in applying the concepts to my own life. Overall, I found the program to be insightful and transformative." Contact Us CONTACT US info@soulspace.pt Travessa do Fala Só 15, Lisboa, Portugal Get in Touch

This is one of the most effective ways to improve mental health through new knowledge and group dynamics. SoulSpace / Marketplace / Workshops / Back to Home page Workshops Create your own space to grow a space to prioritize your mental well-being Upcoming Events Are YOU Perfect or Unique? Fri, Aug 09 Lisboa Break free from perfectionism and embrace your true self! Join our transformative workshop led by psychologist and psychotherapist Olga Babira. Learn how to challenge perfectionist tendencies, uncover your unique qualities, and build a more confident, positive self-image. Details Reconnecting with yourself Fri, Jul 12 Lisboa Step into a journey of re-discovering yourself and releasing unauthentic labels at our immersive workshop “Reconnecting with yourself”, in Lisbon! We will be learning comprehensive meditation techniques and transforming your relationship with yourself, which will set you up for huge success! +5 more Details Mental health and mental plasticity. Fri, Sep 01 Saldanha, Lisbon We will talk about how to identify your psychological state, help yourself in stressful situations and learn how to make your psyche more malleable under everyday stressors. Details

Stay updated on the latest innovations in mental well-being, audio programs for self-care, and opportunities to join Soul Space's mental health initiatives ANNOUNCEMENTS Announcements about Mental Health a space to prioritize your mental well-being SoulSpace / Announcements / Welcome to the Announcements page at Soul Space! Here, you'll find the latest updates and innovations designed to enhance your mental well-being. Stay informed about new features, programs, and tools that cater to everyone, regardless of background or circumstance Our articles and online programs are now available in audio format! 🎧 Whether you're on your way to work, taking a walk, or simply on the go, you can now enhance your mental well-being with ease. Our audio content is designed to fit seamlessly into your busy life, allowing you to improve your mental health anytime, anywhere. Soul Space - Your Safe Space for Mental Well-being 🌿 We care about your comfort and convenience! Start listening today and take a step towards a healthier, more balanced you. 🌟 Lets TRY! Become a part of the Soul Space team! Do you know how to help people come to a mental balance? Then you definitely need to come to us! Follow the link, fill out the form and we're sure to find a lot in common! Looking forward to seeing you 🙌 Lets TRY! Stand For Ukraine We are thrilled to announce that “Soul Space” project in cooperation with "The Base" co-working space are actively reaching out to support individuals in Ukraine by offering free assistance ! Lets TRY! Access to mental well-being 24/7 Would you like to engage in your mental health from anywhere in the world and anytime? We have done it! Now a variety of online programmes will allow you to make your life more harmonious and happier in one click! Shall we get started? 👀 Lets TRY!

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